Would You Believe That Some People Don't Like Beer?

This is a very strange hub because I don't drink beer, never have and never will. I hate the stuff and even more, I hate beer breath anywhere in my vicinity. So if you must drink the stuff, don't breath.

I'm a red wine, champagne and four star brandy girl myself. There's no point in being poor and looking it, as the saying goes. However, I have never been able to drink beer of any kind. The smell is bad enough but the taste is vile.

However, I do have a fascination for beer bottle labels and English beer now comes with an interesting selection of these. I am also aware of some very creative labelling in the US beer market but I've never actually seen it. A quick look around the internet revealed such wonderful names as 'Santa's Butt' and 'Dogfish Head Snowblower Ale'. I must admit that the US names are a bit more adventurous that those available here in UK.

However, the collectable ones I have found in UK include the ones described below. I know, it's a strange hobby for a person who doesn't like beer, but collecting beer bottle labels has been around for a long time. Some collectors must have the labels still attached to the unopened bottles for their collection.

'Seriously Bad Elf' is a bitter with 9% alcohol. It's marketed as a holiday beer so the manufacturers decided to give it a holiday type name. I really want to know what a seriously bad elf does to earn the title. Maybe a few bottles would enlighten me but I think I'll leave the testing to someone with a less delicate constitution.

Then there's 'Bullbox Mid Life Crisis' which is a premium bitter with 4.5% alcohol and 'Wobble' at 7.5%, or perhaps you'd prefer 'A over T' at a whacking great 9%. No prizes for guessing how this one got its name.

'Falling ar** over t*t' is a common if not very polite English phrase which describes the action of toppling over. (You work it out!)

My favourite labels include 'Piddle In The Hole' which is not as strong as the others mentioned here and comes in at just 4% alcohol and the lethal sounding 'Head Cracker' which is a barley wine.

That said, a bottle of 'Monty Python's Holy Grail' brewed by Yorkshire's Black Sheep Brewery graces the shelf in my kitchen. It was commissioned to commemorate the 30^th anniversary of the Python Team and was, if you believe the label, tempered over burning witches.

It is said to be full of hops and fruity in taste, but I guess I'll never know.

I couldn't vouch for the taste of this English brew but I am the proud owner of the lable. I must admit that the name puts me off a bit. I cannot possible imagine what the beer must taste like but experts tell me that it is completely opposite to what you might think and 'Piddle In The Hole' is a good, strong tasting ale.